The Zombie Minister
by alyssialui
Summary: <html><head></head>After the dead start rising the wizarding world does what has always done, pretend nothing is happening and keep doing it until they finally have to face reality. Crackfic-ish.</html>


_A/N: It's crackfic time. After the dead start rising the wizarding world does what has always done, pretend nothing is happening and keep doing it until they finally have to face reality. In this fic, since I need someone incompetent and and reluctant to hear the truth, I made Fudge my Minister of Magic_

_Submission for:_

_**Crack Fics/Parody/Humor Plot Challenge**_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter._

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><p>Everyone was acting so strangely lately. Some people were shirking their duties and had been absent from work for weeks. There must have been something in the water. That had to be it for there was no other explanation. It seemed so sudden though. One day you were sharing a lift with Bob from Accounting and next he was nibbling on your head. Oh that Bob and his affinity for brains.<p>

That Granger girl was always trying to tell him that something was wrong. People didn't just nibble on other people like that. But what did she know? She may have Harry Potter's friend, and a Saviour of the Wizarding World, but Fudge thought he still knew a thing or two about a normal degree of brain attractiveness.

Then there was that old bat McGonagall from the school. She kept telling him that the students were infecting each other with something. There was no infection, there was nothing to fear. Maybe it was a new craze for them to bite each other. He never cared much about teenage fads any way.

Fudge waved his hand about his face as he sat at his desk. He would have to tell Maria to light some more scented candles about the office. That rotting flesh smell had come back and he couldn't stand it. Maybe he should find someone to investigate the source.

There was a knock on the door. "Come in!" he called out while searching for a handkerchief to cover his nose.

In walked Frank. He wasn't looking too good lately. His skin was looking a bit green and there was a large hole in the side of his cheek so everyone could see the inside of his mouth. Saliva and yellow pus was oozing out of the crater. Fudge grimaced, "Frank, maybe you should take the rest of the day off and get that checked out. I think there's a bug going around."

Frank just groaned before hobbling over him. The smell of flesh was stronger now. Fudge held the handkerchief harder against his nose. "And close the door, please," he added, "that horrible smell is coming in from the outside again."

Frank closed the door slowly and then limped back towards Fudge's desk with a wide grin. Fudge leaned back in his chair widely and said, "So Frank, what have you got for me today?"

Frank threw himself over Fudge's desk with his mouth just a few inches from Fudge's face. Up close, he could see that Frank's eyes had gone completely white, his normally brown irises clouded over. Though glassy, his gaze was intense as it focused on Fudge. He snapped his jaws towards Fudge's face causing him to lean back further.

Fudge pressed a small button on his desk. "You are in no condition to work today, Frank. I'm sending you home. Maria!"

A low groan was his response. Fudge said, "I don't care if you're feeling unwell. I need you to stay in office today, but please call a healer for Frank."

Fudge released the button and turned back towards Frank. "Don't worry, Frank. We'll get you-"

Frank lunged for the meaty throat of Fudge, who let out a garbled scream as they fell to the floor together.

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><p>A few minutes later, a healer in a protective, hazmat suit entered Fudge's office. The round man was alone in the room now, Frank having left to collect his things from his office. He was sitting in his chair but facing the wall.<p>

"Minister Fudge?" the healer asked.

The chair turned to reveal the rotting face of the most powerful man in Wizarding Britain. Gangrene had already set in and there was a large bleeding hole in his neck. His tongue lolled out of his mouth as his head fell to the side. His large arm was hanging limply at his side, the meat eaten off so show parts of the bone underneath.

The healer sighed as he approached the groaning undead man. Now what were they going to do with a Zombie Minister?


End file.
